AD79

aka Anno 79: la distruzione di Ercolano (I), Les derniers jours d'Hercolanum (Fr), Die letzten Student von Pompeji (WG)
1962
Italy/France
Cineproduzioni Associate (Italy)
Director : Gianfranco Parolini
Story & screenplay: Gianfranco Parolini, Giovanni Simonelli
Music : Carlo Franci
Cinematography : Francesco Izzarelli
Cast : Susan Paget (Livia), Brad Harris (Marco), Mara Lane (Diomira), Jacques Berthier (Tirteo), Jany Clair (Myrta), Carlo Tamberlani (Furio), Philippe Hersent (Tito Flavio), Ivy Stewart (Claudia), Isarco Ravaioli (Licinio), George Nanadovic (Sansom), Wladimiro Leib (Lepido), Nicola Stefanini (Valerio), Ray Martino (Sauro), Pino Mattei (Drago), Milo Kacieva, Wladimir Bacic, Giuseppe Marotti, Max Furjan

Peplums are funny things. Whereas it's relatively easy to watch a crime film or a spaghetti western from a cynical contemporary perspective, it's virtually impossible to treat these toga-epics in the same way. There's something inherently innocent about them, along the same lines as those Tarzan movies that cropped up on Saturday mornings before the advent of cheap'n'cheerful children's television hosted by bleach-teethed Drama School rejects. The goodies are good, the ladies are ladies and the bad are…dastardly. There are no blurred lines to interrupt the cause of justice from working its inevitable path. Their complete lack of 'sophistication' is at the same time rather endearing and utterly alienating.

A couple of legionnaires discover a vile plot about to be carried out by the Roman Chancellor, Tirteo (surname Chippus, perhaps?). They attempt to warn all round hero Marco Tiberius (Brad Harris) - revered as the man who conquered Britain - but are murdered before they can do so. Marcus's suspicions are soon aroused anyhow by the way in which anyone who attempts to oppose Tirteo happens to end up dead. However, he is slightly preoccupied by the hugely eyelashed and dubiously motivated Myrta, who keeps on feeding him grapes.

Meanwhile a group of Christians - a religion frowned on by the senate - are gathering in the city of Herculaneum. Marco is sent to break them up and execute the ringleaders, but refuses because he doesn't believe that they are enemies of Rome. However, the villains manage to have him arrested as a believer when they stage a fake assassination attempt on Caesar, in which the killers falsely carry crosses. Which leaves the way open for them to finish of their ingenious (and inevitably doomed) plan to seize power.

This veers between being rather thrilling and rather amusing. It's difficult to watch without having memories of Monty Python fly across your brain - especially towards the end when everyone starts whistling whilst being crucified (except the guy who surreptitiously has a scratch of his itchy neck!). The dubbing is outrageously bad. One woman speaks English in such a 'correct' fashion that you almost forget that, despite taking up a considerable amount of screen time, she has absolutely nothing to do with the plot. Lots of fat blokes run around with their bellies hanging out like it's the first day of spring at a building site. Tirteo is so damned nasty that he wears a leather vest that always reveals his left nipple. On the other hand, if you dressed all the characters in space suits you wouldn't be too far away from the continually wanked-over Star Wars films.

As long as you don't approach it with too much in the way of seriousness though, Anno 79 is rather good fun. There's virtually the same cast as in The Old Testament, with which it was made back to back. The action is thick and fast, with it all ending in a nicely staged volcanic eruption and the performances are suitably melodramatic. Recommended for a rainy afternoon when the cricket's cancelled.

Matt B