MACISTE IN HELL

1962
Italy
aka Maciste all'inferno (I)
Panda Film (Italy)
Director : Riccardo Freda
Script : Oreste Biancoli, Germano Donati, Piero Pierotti
Music : Carlo Franci
Cinematography : Riccardo Pallotini
Cast : Kirk Morris [Adriano Bellini] (Maciste), Helene Chanel (the witch), Angelo Zanolli (Charley Law), Andrea Bosic (Parris), John Karlsen (the burgermaster), Remo De Angelis, Gina Mascetti (the landlady), Charles Fawcett (the doctor), Puccio Ceccarelli, Francis Lane, Vera Silenti (Martha Gunt), Donatello Mauro (Doris), Antonella Della Porta, Antonio Ciani, Evar(isto) Maran, John Francis Lane (Martha's servent)

This is available on DVD as The Witch's Curse on the second half of a double bill with Hercules Against the Moon Men (Maciste e la regina di Samar, 64). It's far from great quality - as opposed to Mole Men - but if you can't see it anywhere else it's probably worth picking up.

Considering that Riccardo Freda is one of the most respected of Italian film directors, this really is an unreconstituted piece of shit. That said, I must confess that I have always found his work slightly overrated, even classics such as The Terror of Dr Hitchcock (L'Orribile segreto del dottor Hichcock, 62). In this case the script is ridiculous, the realisation incompetent and even the settings reek of tardiness. However, it has one major factor in it's favour: it is hilariously bad. Honestly, this made me laugh louder than an overdose of nitrous oxide. Here, truly, we have peplum as cheesecake.

The first half-hour of this singular masterpiece is quite incredibly bizarre. Restaging the opening sequence from Black Sunday (La Maschera del demonio, 60), a warty-faced old bag is burned alive for witchcraft. Not, of course, before hurling curses aplenty at her prosecutors. Cut to a hundred years later and a plastic tree has grown where her ashes fell and the women of the village have fallen victim to a form of hysteria which makes them overact in a way which would make Brian Blessed ashamed. It is only natural, then, that when the descendent of the witch, Martha Gaunt, returns home with a new husband in tow she is promptly seized and accused of evil deeds. Meanwhile, the soundtrack resounds with cackling laughter and bibles repeatedly burst into flames. So far, so ordinary. But then...

But then this big sweaty geezer wearing a loincloth appears and starts chucking loads of minor characters around. Huh? Oh yes, it's Maciste - legendary righter of wrongs and man out of time. Proceeding along the usual course (for this film at any rate) he then spends about 10 minutes uprooting the aforementioned plastic tree in order to open a gateway into the world of the damned, and our hero ventures into hell:

SEE Maciste struggle gainfully with a rapidly unravelling stuffed lion!
SEE Maciste beat shit out of some dumb giant by throwing polystyrene rocks at it's head!
SEE Maciste attempting to hold back a stampede of demonic cows!
SEE Maciste having fisticuffs with a maniacally goofy Cyclops in film that is stolen from an earlier, more enjoyable movie!
SEE how the villain dies by falling off a ledge.

Maciste in Hell is so stupid, so tacky and so cheap that I can't help but recommend it enough. Kirk Morris, who played the big guy in many of these films, looks entirely confused by the whole caboodle - and who can blame him. Only Helene Chanel, who plays the supple reincarnation of the witch in the underworld, emerges with any form of credit, and that's not because of her acting prowess for sure. Superb!

Matt Blake