For a long time I’ve tried – and failed – to keep a log of all the films I’ve watched (excluding films I’m reviewing specifically for books). This year, I’ve actually managed to do it… so here it is.
Best film: Civil War
Best foreign language film: God’s Crooked Lines
Best sequel: Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
Best big budget, they don’t make ’em like this anymore type film: The Creator
Best weird little film that nobody’s heard of: The Moor
Most demented film: The Coffee Table
Film I didn’t think I’d like but did: Conclave
Worst film: Wages of Fear
Best performance: Ralph Fiennes (Conclave)
Worst performance: Charlotte Kirk in Duchess
The how did I miss this film of the year: The Empty Man
Abigail (2024). Silly but entertaining horror movie which doesn’t know what to do with its interesting premise – bunch of low level villains kidnap little girl, who turns out to be a psychopathic vampire – and sinks into predictability as a result. 6
Alien Romulus (2024). The best in the series since Alien 3 (hey, I liked it), this is a back to basics replay of the original with Gen Z characters but the same kind of crap-tech aesthetic and some cracking set pieces (the horde of scuttling parasites, zero gravity acid blood). Better than expected. 7
All You Need Is Death (2023). Neat idea. A couple of musicologists record a previously unknown folk song which turns out to have unexpected – and unedifying – consequences. Mix of folk and body horror, a little like Pontypool in a weird kind of way. Well made on a low budget. A decent effort. 6
Anatomy of a Fall (2023). Imagine, if you will, a remake of Basic Instinct by someone so French that even French people consider them a bit too… Gallic. What you’d get is Anatomy of a Fall, an undoubtedly clever film, but also one that’s self-satisfied, dull and in which nobody ever ruddy shuts up. 4
Arkadian (2024). Mediocre sub-Quiet Ones apocalyptic monster movie, it’s passable but blah, not to mention a rare example of a b-movie which isn’t enhanced by having Nicholas Cage in it. 4.
Barber (2023). Judging by all the face masks this must have been shot earlier than 2023. It’s an Irish noir, with rumpled Aiden Gillen tracking down a missing girl and uncovering a conspiracy. OK, but a bit blah. 5
Becky (2020). Home Alone, essentially, but with a genuine sense of danger and violence that feels real. Mardy teenage girl (Lulu Wilson) faces off against bunch of neo-nazis led by Kevin James… and she proves to have a taste for killing. Good fun. 7
Blood (2022). Not bad horror from the reliable Brad Anderson, with Michelle Monaghan playing a recovering alcoholic whose son gets bitten by a dog and develops a thirst for (preferably human) blood. It’s a neat take on the vampire mythos, with some not particularly well-defined supernatural elements, but gripping and with an interesting sub-text about how far a mother is prepared to go to support her child. 6
Blood Star (2024). Young woman driving through the desert bumps into a crazy sheriff (John Schwab, who used to do the narration for Wife Swap!) Nothing good ensues. It’s a decent, if slightly repetitive psycho movie in the mode of Wolf Creek. 6
Caddo Lake. 2024. OK time travel hijinks from the M.Night Shyamalan circle. Girl goes missing, her sister discovers a portal to seven years earlier, another guy goes through the same portal and ends up in the future. Hey, you know what, it’s Dark, the Netflix tv series, but nowhere near as good. 5
Carry-On (2024). Entertaining enough action film with a tentative (underused) Christmas theme, starring Taron Egerton as a guard at LAX who gets caught up in a scheme by nasty arms dealers to murder a politician. Director Jaume Collet-Serra knows what he’s doing, and despite the clichés it’s decent fun. 6
Civil War (2024). Meandering but impressive dystopian science fiction from Alex Garland, about a near future America that’s broken down into factions at war with each other. A bit too close to home. 8.
Companion (2025). Much better than I thought it would be comedy horror, about a ‘companion’, a femme bot who comes to realise that she’s not a human, and that the humans she does know are awful. Funny and very watchable, file next to M3gan. 7
Conclave (2024). Who knew a film about the election of a pope could be so exciting? Very well done film, based on a tight script, and gets a couple of extra point for Ralph Fiennes, who’s excellent as always. 8
Coup! (2023). This reminded me a lot of 70s films like Blue Blood. Peter Sarsgaard is a hobo who impersonates a cook and inveigles himself in the household of pampered rich kid Billy Magnussen. There’s added interest from it’s being set during the Spanish flu, and Magnussen plays an archetypal warrior of the people who never leaves the safety of his own library. It’s dark, cynical, and rather enjoyable. 6
Damaged (2024). Random casting award of the year. American cop Samuel L. Jackson teams up with weirdly accented French cop Vincent Cassel to track down a serial killer who might or might not be John Hannah. It’s Seven but set in Scotland and stupid. 4
DarkGame (2024). Silly ‘snuff gameshow on the dark web’ nonsense, with antsy cop Ed Westwick (still with a long way to go to rehabilitate himself) investigating a series of kidnappings and murders, all of which are broadcast live to anyone with a suitable VPN. Forgettable. 4
Deep Cover (2025). Rather entertaining comedy crime film in which a bunch of improv comedians are hired to infiltrate a drug gang. It’s a lot better than it sounds, with a surprisingly great cast and some good gags (Paddy Considine, Sean Bean, Nick Mohammed even Orlando Bloom is good). 7
Den of Thieves (2018). Gerard Butler action b-movie which takes a bit of Heat, a bit of The Usual Suspects, and a lot of macho posturing. It’s well done, kind of old fashioned, a type of film which unfortunately isn’t made all that much anymore. 6.
Die Alone (2024). Set in a post-apocalyptic America devastated by a virus which transforms the infected into bloodthirsty plants (no really), this follows a young man with amnesia who bumps into a mysterious but very competent older woman (Carrie Anne Moss), but is she all she seems. Tries to do something a little different, but only with partial success. 5
Dream Scenario (2023). Curious if rather inconclusive movie in which mild-mannered professor Nic Cage – starts popping up in almost everyone’s dream, initially as a passive passer through, then as something rather more sinister. Cage is great in a funny and intelligent examination of viral fame and cancel culture. Well worth a look. 7
Duchess (2024). God, Neil Marshall’s career has gone down the pan since hitching himself to Charlotte Kirk. This plays like a vanity movie in which everything has been constructed to allow her to show off, with her playing a sassy gangster chick chalking her way through assorted no-goods in Tenerife. It would be OK if she was a competent or even just likeable performer. She isn’t. 3
Dune: Part Two (2024). Noble indigenous types fight off evil white colonialists on a desert planet populated by big worms. Yep, we’re in ‘elevated’ Science Fiction territory, somewhat undermined by the fact that the casting vote on how evil you are seems to be on whether you’re good looking or not. It’s one of those big, dumb films that doesn’t realise it’s big and dumb, so trades on po-faced solemnity rather than ideas. Better than the first part, though. 5
Escape (2023). Typically competent low budget horror / action movie from Howard J. Ford, in which a bunch of blonde English girls are kidnapped by white slave traders while holidaying in Tenerife. The girls are attractive, the villains most certainly aren’t, and there’s some surprising gore. As B as B-movies can get, sometimes more than a little stilted, but kind of charming in a crude way. 5
Extra Ordinary (2019). Puckish Irish horror comedy in which a small town driving instructor / ghost whisperer comes up against a devil worshipping prog rocker, desperate to revive his career by any means possible. Entertaining, and I liked the mock-videos, but somewhat lightweight. 5.
Feed me (2022). Absolutely deranged black comedy / weirdo horror film about a sleazeball cannibal and his willing victim. There’s a bit of League of Gentlemen about it and it’s grotesque rather than funny but decently done. 4
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024). Loved this. Absolutely demented insanity which plays like a post-apocalyptic refit of The Good the Bad and the Ugly, complete with crazy stunt work and a very antipodean sense of skewed humour. Possibly the best Mad Max film to date (and I like all of them). 8
Gator Creek (2024). Plane full of numpties crashes into American marsh, and the survivors are chomped on by meth-head alligators (they’ve been feeding on the runoff from illicit drug factories). Functional enough, but not much more. 4
Get Away (2024). Slightly disappointing attempt by Nick Frost to do Shaun of the Dead with folk horror. A family of idiotic brits take a holiday on a Swedish island where the unfriendly locals are having a festival to celebrate the repulsion of a bunch of English soldiers… and a sacrifice would be just the ticket. The jokes are hit and miss and it’s tonally uneven. 4
Gladiator 2 (2024). Pretty much the same as Gladiator, but not as good. Enjoyable enough with a couple of beers, but it would have been nice if they’d tried to do something different. 5
God is a Bullet (2023). Cop Nikolaj Coster-Waldau pursues a group of anarcho-satanists who’ve kidnapped his daughter. I’m a sucker for this kind of moody, noirish nonsense, even though it’s most definitely a film that’s unaware of its own b-movie status. 6
God’s Crooked Lines (2022). Another exercise in Hitchcokian suspense from Oriol Paulo, who’s so fond of a twist ending he could be described as a Spanish equivalent to M. Night Shamalayan (but less annoying and much better). It’s one of those ‘person goes undercover in an asylum to solve a mystery… or do they merely believe they’re undercover in an asylum to solve a mystery’ type films, but rather excellent. 8
Greedy People (2024). Flimsy Coen brothers style comic crime caper, with a bunch of low lives and losers chasing a bin liner full of dodgy cash on an Amity-style island. Passes the time easily enough, but nothing more. 4
Gun City (2018). Decent Spanish 1920s set thriller with the excellent Luis Tosar as a cop caught up between anarchists and corrupt officials in Spain on the brink of chaos. There’s a bit of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly and also Damiano Damiani about it. 7
Happy Death Day 2U (2019). Not bad horror comedy sequel, in which the likeable Jessica Rothe again finds herself being repeatedly murdered, Groundhog Day style, after being caught up in a quantum accident. Some good gags ensure this goes down nicely enough with a few beers. 5
Heads of State (2025). What has to be just about the dumbest idea for a film in recent years – President of US and UK Prime Minister become ersatz action heroes in a trans-European adventure – actually turns out to be very entertaining and surprisingly clever. Good performances from Micheal Cena and Idris Elba, well written and amusing throughout. A top notch Saturday night movie. 7
Here Comes Hell (2019). Agatha Christie meets Blithe Spirit meets, err, The Evil Dead. Extremely entertaining, low budget comedy horror which is shot in the style of a 30s melodrama, with a bunch of poshos in a decrepit country pile falling foul of a demon called up by a Crowley style occultist. Way better than it has any rights to be. 6.
Hit Man (2023). Amiable comedy about a mild-mannered psychology professor who begins moonlighting as a ‘pretend’ hitman, used by the police to entrap foolish idiots who hire him to kill spouses, rivals, etc. etc. It’s low key, amusing, with a great performance by Glen Powell in the central role. But it doesn’t add up to much. 6
Immaculate (2024). Killer nun shenanigans… Sydney Sweeney is a novice at a weird Italian monastery initiates keep disappearing… and then she falls pregnant, seemingly an immaculate conception. Not bad, but thoroughly ludicrous. 5
In the Land of Saints and Sinners (2023). Better than average Liam Neeson geriaction movie, which plays very much like a classic western (think Unforgiven) but set in Ireland. Benefits enormously from the excellent supporting cast. 6
It Came from Below (2021). Bunch of spelunkers get picked off one by one by underground dwelling mutants. Nope, not The Descent, but very much like it, but made with a fraction of the money or the skill. It’s not great, but at least it doesn’t make you feel like bashing your head repeatedly against the walls, which makes it way better than a lot of low budget British horror films. 4
It’s What’s Inside (2024). Here’s another, for want of a better description, locked room quantum mindfuck. A group of idiots get together for a reunion, but one of them brings a device which allows you to inhabit someone else’s body. Naturally enough, chaos ensues. I really liked this, it doesn’t all make sense and there are a few rough bits, but pretty damn good. 8
Knock at the Cabin (2023). M. Night Shamayalan’s adaptation of Paul Tremblay’s novel, in which a gay couple are forced with making an impossible choice… or the world potentially ending. It’s a neat idea but doesn’t necessarily make for a particularly interesting film. I fell asleep. 4.
Leave the World Behind (2023). More apocalyptic… fun. Julia Roberts is a suitably brittle New Yorker who rents a villa for herself, laidback hubby Ethan Hawke and kids. Then the world falls apart. Some strong scenes (an oil loner crashing onto a beach, self-driving Teslas committing hari-kari) but it doesn’t go anywhere and some elements (the teeth, the deer) seem to have been thrown in at random. 6.
Longlegs (2024). More Nic Cage, stealing the show in this occult serial killer film about a very weird psychopath / occultist who makes scary dolls with little, round balls instead if brains. As you do. It’s got a good sense of atmosphere and some disconcerting scenes but doesn’t entirely hang together. 6
Loop Track (2023). Bunch of hikers on a trail in New Zealand come a cropper when they run into… weird prehistoric emus. The beginning has a nicely unsettling atmosphere, the characters are weird, and the monsters are ridiculous. A likeable time waster. 5.
Lords of Misrule (2022). An enjoyable if rather derivative slice of folk horror, with Tuppence Middleton as the most unlikely of unlikely cinema priests, coming up against a rural demon and its grumpy human representative in rural, um, Hertfordshire. You know what’s going to happen, but good performances and some nice touches. 6
Mandrake (2022). Another Irish folk horror movie, this time from Northern rather than the Republic of Ireland. Probation officer Deirdre Mullins is assigned the case of newly released murderess and suspected witch Mary Laidlaw… and it turns out the suspicions are well founded. There are some living mandrake roots, a bloke in a weird green man costume, and hidden wolf traps, but it doesn’t quite deliver on its promise. 5
Members Club (2024). Group of ageing male strippers are hired to do their routine at a working man’s club in the middle of nowhere, which is home to a witch who collects willies. Yep, it’s a comedy horror in the style of Lesbian Vampire Killers and Cannibals and Carpet Fitters. There are a couple of good jokes and it’s not unbearable. 4
Nosferatu (2024). Much, much better than Robert Eggars’ overrated The Lighthouse, this is an almost classical take on the story which never looks less than beautiful. You know what happens, or at least you do if you’ve seen any films over ten years old, but it all happens with panache. 8
Oddity (2024). After his wife is murdered, a psychologist’s weird sister in law comes to stay… along with her horrible life size dummy. There’s some genuinely spooky stuff in here, but the pacing is a bit awry and a few too many convenient coincidences. Good try, though. 7
Pearl (2022). One of those rare sequels that’s much better than the film it’s a follow up to, this is a sly, black-hearted take on a Douglas Sirk movie with an interesting pre-depression era setting and lots of farm implements used as murder weapons. Mia Goth should have won an Oscar for her performance. 8
Phenomena (2023). Twee Spanish comedy-horror of a type that’s dime-a-dozen on Netflix at the moment. Three ageing female exorcists try to rid an antique store of a nasty demon. Forgotten as soon as it’s finished. 4
Prey (2022). Undoubtedly the best in the Predator series since the original, and probably better than that as well. It’s a nice idea – aliens vs Comanches – which fits nicely in with the hunter-as-hunted concept and gives the opportunity for some very vogueish colonialist bashing. More importantly, it looks good and it’s actually exciting. 7
Punch (2023). It’s fair to say I wasn’t expecting much from this one… but heck, it’s pretty good, and gets a lot better and more interesting as it goes along. A seaside town (shot in Hastings) is plagued by a killer in a Mr. Punch mask… but is there more to the story than that? Mike Leigh meets Halloween meets Kill List. 6
Raging Grace (2023). Pretty good slice of ‘elevated’ horror about a Filipino illegal immigrant who takes a cleaning job at a country pile and discovers the English upper classes are proper nuts. It’s well done, but not particularly tense, let alone scary, and the interesting theme is tackled in a clunky fashion. 5
Rebel Ridge (2024). Top notch thriller from the director of one of my favourites, Green Room. Well intentioned former marine faces off against a bunch of corrupt, racist, redneck cops led by Don Johnson. Perfect Saturday night movie. 8
Reborn (1982). Weird American made Bigas Luna movie somewhat unbalanced by Dennis Hopper and Michael Moriarty trying to out gonzo each other. Doesn’t make much sense, but moody and full of interesting imagery… fans of David Lynch would probably like it. 5
Silent Night (2023). Entirely dumb but rather enjoyable action movie from John Woo, which plays similar cards to The Raid but not quite as well. Joel Kinneman is a guy who can’t speak any more after being shot in the throat (get it) and is out for revenge on the gang bangers who killed his son. 6
Speak No Evil (2024). Really liked this nasty little thriller from James Watkins (it’s a bit like his Eden Lake, but different), about an American couple who make the holiday friends from hell. James McAvoy is superb as a very, very scary man. 8
Sting (2024). Killer spider movies are always welcome, and there have been a few of them recently. Teenager finds strange spider, keeps it as a pet, it’s in fact an alien, grows very big, and kills people. There are a lot of jokes, a redemption arc for a major character, and it flows by easily enough before slipping from the memory. 5
Sympathy for the Devil (2023). Cage looks the part in this one as a crimson haired stranger who kidnaps Joel Kinneman, who seems to be in every other film I watch at the moment, for reasons which don’t become much clearer as the running time progresses… but I fell asleep, so I can’t say for sure. 4
Thanksgiving (2023). Entertaining neo-slasher from Eli Roth, in the style of the Fear Street movies with glossy production values, some quite surprising gore and a ‘surprise’ twist in the tail. There’s a winning sense of irony at play, and the Black Friday stampede is worth the cost of downloading on its own. 6
The Beast Within. Lycanthropy as a metaphor for abusive behaviour, with Kit Harrington as a bloke who might be a werewolf – or just a dick – causing all manner of grief for his family. Nice support turn from the excellent James Cosmo. 5
The Coffee Table (2022). What the fuck? This is possibly the blackest ‘comedy’ I’ve ever seen, a weird kind of farce in which the worst thing that could ever happen does… and then things get even worse. It certainly won’t be to everyone’s taste and it’s not an easy watch, but there aren’t many films that make me sit up and pay attention. 8
The Creator (2023). Much better than expected science fiction actioner of the old school (I.e. made with some ideas, a bit of money, and not part of a ruddy franchise). It’s a bit like The Golden Child meets Terminator meets Blade Runner and proves that Gareth Edwards wasn’t just a passenger on Rogue One (the best Star Wars film). 8
The Empty Man (2020). Ooh, I liked this. A weird cross between Angel Heart, Smile and J-Horror, which involves an ex-cop investigating the disappearance of a teenager, a nihilistic cop, and a weird demon invoked by whistling into a bottle. Very good. 8
The Exorcism of Karen Walker. Tedious Kirlian photography based horror movie. Director Steve Lawson usually churns out cranky no-budget titles like Killersaurus, this is made with more money but doesn’t have the charm. 3
The Investigation: A Haunting in Sherwood (2019). Another micro-budget not-quite found-footage movie from Richard Mansfield, about a private investigator who hacks into the security cameras of a haunted house. About par for the course for his work. 4
The Invitation (2015). A bunch of guests, including her ex-husband, arrive for a dinner-party-from-hell at the luxury home of a woman overcoming the loss of her daughter. Builds up an impressive sense of dread and the pay off – when it comes – has a good sting in the tail. 7
The Killer (2023). David Fincher’s sixties throwback, super-stylish, existential crime thriller, a modern day take on the likes of The Killers, Point Blank and The Professional Killer. Michael Fassbender plays an assassin out for revenge; Tilda Swinton is fun as one of his targets. Slow moving but gripping nonetheless. 7
The Kitchen (2023). Kind of sci fi film about people (almost all black) living in the titular slum who, well, live there. This is a great example of a film which fails because it refuses to take the risk of depicting any of its characters as anything other than good people who are being forced to do bad things because ‘the man’ has left them with no choice. It could have been interesting if some more courageous decisions had been taken. 3
The Lesson (2023). Literary thriller in which aspiring novelist Daryl McCormack takes a gig as tutor to the son of his hero, renowned novelist Richard E. Grant. But heroes aren’t always what you thought they’d be, and events take a turn into jealousy, emotional manipulation, plagiarism and (kind of) murder. Quite enjoyable, with great performances (Grant is on good form as a monstrous patriarch), but it has the feel of a tasteful programmer. 5
The Moor (2023). I’m probably scoring this a point or two higher than it should get, but it’s the kind of gloomy, low key, atmospheric and slightly weird thing I love. A low budget amalgamation of the Brady / Hindley murders and folk horror, this is moody as he’ll, features some impressive filmmaking and sticks in the brain. And there are spooky sheep. 8
The Offering (2022). Kind of blah demonic horror film which wastes its interesting Hasidic Jewish backdrop. A family run funeral home is assailed but supernatural forces when the corpse of a formerly possessed mam is bought in for burial preparation. 4
The People Before (2024). Irritating kinfolk London types move to Suffolk and cross paths with the psychotic Imelda May, who used to live in their new house. Less a film than an extended episode of a Channel 5 ‘drama’. 4
The Platform 2 (2024). Lacks the unexpected freshness of the first The Platform film but does a decent job of expanding the concept and applying to new characters. I think this is one that might gain more of a following over time. 6
The Possession of David O’Reilly (2010). Surprisingly effective low-budget brit horror about a couple whose mate turns up in the middle of the night with a sob-story about how he’s split up with his girlfriend… and a horde of deadly demons on his trail. Way better than it sounds, a kind of proto It Follows / Smile. 5
The Silent Hour (2024). Above average thriller from the always reliable Brad Anderson about a detective (Joel Kinnaman) who’s lost his hearing after an accident, who gets caught up in a Die Hard / The Raid style situation trying to protect a deaf witness from a group of corrupt cops. Perfect Saturday night fare. 7
Timestalker (2024). Another oddball effort from Alice Lowe, in which she plays a romantically inclined series of women in multiple time periods who always fall for the not-interested Aneurin Barnard. It’s fun, especially the early 80s sequence, but a bit insubstantial. 6
Trunk: Locked In (2023). OK time waster in the claustrophobic mode of Buried, with Sina Martens locked in a car boot, prisoner of a violent kidnapper who might or might not have connections with someone who knows her. 5.
Unwelcome (2022). Amusing horror comedy in which a metropolitan couple move to rural Ireland and find themselves having to deal with a bunch of malignant leprechauns. From the director of Grabbers, which was along similar lines. 5
Wages of Fear (2024). Entirely redundant remake of the Clouzot classic which attempts to ‘improve’ on the original by crowbarring in a patent cinematic NGO worker (female, beautiful, sassy, unbearable), corrupt oil companies (just because) and jihad style terrorists. Unfortunately, to make room for all this, it takes out just about everything that was good about the original. 3
Werewolves (2024). The Purge, essentially, but with Werewolves, and not as good. It even stars Frank Grillo, for God’s sake. A relatively harmless 90 minute watch, though. 5
What Remains (2022). Almost comically bleak Scandi thriller-not-thriller, based on a true story about a man whose admitting to several murders might or might not have been encouraged by an overly suggestive (I.e. deranged) counsellor. Not exactly a laugh fest. 5
When Darkness Falls (2022). Weird British horror / gangster flick in which a couple of American tourists hiking across the Highlands cross tracks with a pair of career criminals / sex cases. It’s got some nice moments, and it does try to do something a bit different, but the acting is woeful and it’s half an hour too long. 4
Witch (2024). Slightly odd blend of Witchfinder General (or maybe The Bloody Judge) with the kind of mind-bending time travel hi-jinx that are so popular at the moment. Low budget but at least professionally done, with some nice imagery, but twenty minutes too long. 4
